What A Rush!

My wife said years ago – “You know, I reckon you should go and see the doctor too, because I reckon you’ve got it”... this is only after 20 years of marriage.  And the “you’ve got it” bit?  Well, our son was diagnosed with ADD.  No H in there... just the common or garden variety, ADD.   Great kid!  No mistake.  Bit hard to keep on task, but what a sense of humour and a keen wit.  Intelligent too!   

If things around him weren’t happening enough, though, and the scene was getting just a little boring... it was time to create some stimulation of his own...  and he drove some of his teachers to the brink of insanity.  But on the up side, he had a great personality, and it’s amazing what teachers can tolerate if they actually like you.

But anyway... you get the picture.  Now that the background check is over, picture this scene –

Some of “the boys” used to go down to the state tennis centre after dark...  after midnight actually, and the attraction there was the “big top” over the outside court.  When the night time dew had settled it was one big slippery slide.  It is a large white vinyl big top, supported by two huge poles either side of the court in the centre forming a ridge.  From this ridge, each side of the big top sloped down sharply from the ridge and gradually levelled out past the end of the court in both directions.  One side was steeper and shorter than the other, so this was the non-preferred side.  But the longer side? –  What a rush!

The court was actually outside the tennis centre... that is, not fenced in and there weren't any “No Trespassing” signs.  So!  Boys will be boys, and this was their playground.   

 

With the dew of the night settling on the vinyl, and the right kind of shoes, skatebord shoes,  it wasn’t a big top at all... it was a ski slope!  An easy climb up one of the supports, a steep climb to the ridge and then thirty yards of awesome rush as you 'skiied'  down the slope.  Rinse and repead!  Drop to the ground, run around, back up and of again.

Great for a bit... but what is it about ADD people and the need for stimulation?  Hey!  This is good, but what would make it better is a faster ride... more dew.  What?  This is all we are going to have?  So what do you do?  Gareth's solution was – “hey guys!  Let's get that little wheelie bin over there and put water in it and pour it down the slope.”  And they did.  They filled it partly with water (as much as they could lift), manhandled it to the top of the ridge and poured it down the slope.  Gareth's idea, so he went first.

What was  “rush” before was now plain terrifying.  It took him all of half a second to spot the danger... way too fast!  Damn!  Sit down hard... pants on the vinyl... still way too fast.  Twist over, cat-like on the belly, going backwards,  finger nails clawing at the vinyl... no change in speed, and the boys up top looked in horror at the frantic face and saucer eyes as gravity did it’s thing and he disappeared over the edge. The nurse in ICU said that he should go and buy a lottery ticket, that's how lucky he was to survive given the damage he sustained.  But you know... six weeks later he was back at his job - plastering... on crutches.

Well, pleased to report he’s slowed down a bit since then.  On the serious side, we nearly lost him that night as the photo shows...  

How Many People With ADHD Does It Take To Change A Light Bulb?

What follows below was taken from... I’m guessing... a newsletter or an email originating from an ADHD support group or similar and it was posted to me by a friend, because he knew that I would get a laugh out of it as I too am a person with ADD. (I won’t say suffers from ADD, because I have learned to live with it, life is good, and it is just everyone around me that finds it a little exasperating J)

The Excerpt from the Newsletter:

The following story was written by Bob, a member of our adult support groups who encourages us to laugh at ourselves.

How many people with ADHD does it take to change a light bulb?

The truth is we just don’t know yet. We actually sent 20 ADHD people off to buy the replacement light bulb but...

Three will be on their way just as soon as they find their car keys, wallet and sunnies.

Two were just too damn busy to be bothered with stuff like that. What with the computer game they were playing being absolutely critical to national security and stuff we couldn’t possibly understand.

One is on his way, but he just thought he’d format his hard drive and do a complete and total software reinstall on his way out. It will only take 5 minutes... apparently.

Two haven’t gone yet because we need the light bulb by 7:00pm at the very latest without fail, and it is only 6:57pm.

One reckons he has worked out a totally new concept in light bulbs that will make him millions and is on the phone to the agent about leasing factory premises in China at this very moment.

One who does have car keys will be off as soon as she can find her car.

Of those who made it to the shops – One got a light bulb to the checkout but neither his credit card nor eftpos card worked. It wasn’t actually his fault. He wasn’t able to access the bank’s website to transfer money from another account all week. You see, his computer is out of order. The useless piece of rubbish hasn’t worked since he used the mouse to bang the nail in the hinge of the shed door (which fell off when he threw the lawnmower in).

One did have his wallet, but his cash was unfortunately still in the bread bin where he had put it to remember to pay the gas bill.

Three made it back from the shops safe and sound...

We are now the proud owners of an electric toaster, a kilo of Brussels sprouts and a window winding handle for a 1955 VW Beetle... No light bulb though.

One chap thought – “Blow shopping... that’s boring. It would be far cooler to sneak into a police station and nick their light bulb... Awesome rush!!!”

One guy did honestly buy a light bulb but he popped into the pub... just for one quick beer and some footy. He’s going back to the pub to fetch the globe cos he knows exactly where he left it.

One guy was totally organised. He smiled casually and phoned his wife who reminded him that as his caring partner she was fully aware of the fact that his brain just worked a little differently. She had indeed guessed he would need a light bulb today, and there were three, each of different wattage in his briefcase along with his pills, organiser, Palm Pilot, Filofax, event sheet for the day, lunch, biscuits for afternoon tea and GPS navigation device. He then went a whitish sort of green and collapsed into the foetal position screaming – “Oh no!!!! The briefcase!!! I left it on the bus!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

One clever chap (we’ll call him Mr. X) was really keen and took his wife with him to navigate. He did indeed make it back with a light bulb... The only thing is they got lost because his wife can’t tell left from right or read a map even when you shout and yell at her at the top of your voice. Mr. X does indeed have the light bulb on or about his person, but he may need to have it surgically removed.

It doesn’t really matter that much anyway now because the power has been cut off. We meant to post the cheque off to the power company... Honest!... In fact we put the envelope in the frying pan specifically so we’d remember. Now where is that frying pan?